Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
