I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
soo... how was my night?
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