i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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