I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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