I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
