12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
