I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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