Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Ambien. No doubt about it.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
