No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
