After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
