I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
