He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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