He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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