Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
