As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
