I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
