I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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