Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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