remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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