The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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