every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
