Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
its not stalking. its research.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
