Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
