i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
