Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
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