im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
