a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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