my soul wont recognize me after tonight
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
