im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
