my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
