they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
