very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm both gender and math confused
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
