That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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