need another drink. this is the easiest way
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
