4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
did i just pee glitter
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
