You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
