Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
