Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Randomize
