He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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