oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
