that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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