speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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