Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I AM VODKA MAN
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
