He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize