My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
