I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
