my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
