I think I am morally bankrupt
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
