just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
