Whod you bang
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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