problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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