Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I FOUND THE LEGS
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
