This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize