We're like a lot better than the average bears
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
