hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
