Apparently you make a good broom.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
