wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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