Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
