Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
