508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Did I show you my penis last night?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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