nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
