Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
where are my eyebrows?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
