Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
