I must be too annoying 4 u.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
