he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
