she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
No subtext here. People are naked.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
