I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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