is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
